i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
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Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first