I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...