I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
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Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
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I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.