why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks