Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?