Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
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you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.