That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends