I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now