No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.