You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina