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    (330): View more from Ohio

    I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.

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    Replies (3) Good night (533) Bad night (1745) Order T-Shirt
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    (845): View more from New York

    i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now

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    Replies (14) Good night (961) Bad night (1459) Order T-Shirt
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    (207): View more from Maine

    I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.

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    Replies (15) Good night (6612) Bad night (567) Order T-Shirt
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    (949): View more from California

    Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?

    (619): View more from California

    hahahahahahahahahahaha

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    Replies (45) Good night (3199) Bad night (915)
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    (702): View more from Nevada

    I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.

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    Replies (3) Good night (655) Bad night (3422) Order T-Shirt
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    (508): View more from Massachusetts

    If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it

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    Replies (9) Good night (919) Bad night (1215) Order T-Shirt
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    (540): View more from Virginia

    Whore.

    (832): View more from Houston, Texas

    I was being facetious

    (540): View more from Virginia

    Don't try to hide behind big words.

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    Replies (2) Good night (1988) Bad night (519)
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    (404): View more from Georgia

    My penis looks like a roll of pennies

    (303): View more from Colorado

    Oh. Ok. I get the hint.

    (404): View more from Georgia

    Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...

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    Replies (15) Good night (482) Bad night (2981)
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    (561): View more from Florida

    You drink too much

    (1-561): View more from Florida

    No, I drink just the right amount - too often.

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    Replies (2) Good night (2772) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
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    (647): View more from Ontario

    Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.

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    Replies (1) Good night (880) Bad night (1269) Order T-Shirt
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    (316): View more from Kansas

    I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper

    (785): View more from Kansas

    He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.

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    Replies (32) Good night (3199) Bad night (917)
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    (919): View more from North Carolina

    great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with

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    Replies (3) Good night (478) Bad night (1998) Order T-Shirt
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    (845): View more from New York

    i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen

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    Replies (20) Good night (2241) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
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    (203): View more from Connecticut

    maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans

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    Replies (36) Good night (594) Bad night (1881) Order T-Shirt
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    (954): View more from Florida

    You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter

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    Replies (17) Good night (2023) Bad night (408)
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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