You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
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My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
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I need moral support for this bender
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.