Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
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Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being pregnant is like rehab
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.