Texts From Last Night

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(302): View more from Delaware

it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other

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(302): it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other http://tfl.nu/yidf

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(407): View more from Florida

i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.

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(407): i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all. http://tfl.nu/cnhy

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(913): View more from Kansas

if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad

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(913): if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad http://tfl.nu/tveg

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(313): View more from Michigan

Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.

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(313): Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone. http://tfl.nu/vfbd

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(612): View more from Minnesota

hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good

(651): View more from Minnesota

who is this?

(612): View more from Minnesota

jesse's little brother

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(612): hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good (651): who is this? (612): jesse's little brother http://tfl.nu/8x0e

Replies (42) Good night (1490) Bad night (4599)
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(415): View more from California

u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them

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(415): u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them http://tfl.nu/vc7z

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(515): View more from Iowa

Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms

(712): View more from Iowa

Oh God

(515): View more from Iowa

I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship

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(515): Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms (712): Oh God (515): I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship http://tfl.nu/mj00

Replies (31) Good night (1084) Bad night (1964)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.

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(978): every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y. http://tfl.nu/xtds

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(443): View more from Maryland

guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way

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(443): guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way http://tfl.nu/u63n

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(516): View more from New York

Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg

(410): View more from Maryland

Omg suz!! take the unibrow off

(516): View more from New York

No! im just getting hammered instead

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(516): Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg (410): Omg suz!! take the unibrow off (516): No! im just getting hammered instead http://tfl.nu/mscr

Replies (12) Good night (2573) Bad night (424)
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(419): View more from Ohio

There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around

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(419): There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around http://tfl.nu/vprs

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(917): View more from New York City

i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!

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(917): i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire! http://tfl.nu/yxp7

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(440): View more from Ohio

It looked like if robin williams had a vagina

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(440): It looked like if robin williams had a vagina http://tfl.nu/jvnv

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(573): View more from Missouri

i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru

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(573): i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru http://tfl.nu/xoee

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.

(612): View more from Minnesota

only room for one pussy in that bed.

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(262): When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy. (612): only room for one pussy in that bed. http://tfl.nu/8gho

Replies (9) Good night (725) Bad night (2241)

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