Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar