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    (907): View more from Alaska

    scale of 1-10 how well do I give head

    (1-907): View more from Alaska

    5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.

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    Replies (75) Good night (4142) Bad night (1123) Order T-Shirt
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    (423): View more from Tennessee

    I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me

    (617): View more from Massachusetts

    What? You're not speaking real words.

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    Replies (30) Good night (849) Bad night (2542)
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    (609): View more from New Jersey

    Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count

    (1-609): View more from New Jersey

    You don't understand. I'm not like you.

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    Replies (25) Good night (2353) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
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    (312): View more from Illinois

    i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.

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    Replies (19) Good night (495) Bad night (2369) Order T-Shirt
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    (708): View more from Illinois

    i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!

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    Replies (4) Good night (659) Bad night (1876) Order T-Shirt
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    (905): View more from Toronto

    Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?

    (1-905): View more from Toronto

    i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood

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    Replies (23) Good night (5123) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
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    (225): View more from Louisiana

    shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this

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    Replies (27) Good night (3164) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
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    (318): View more from Louisiana

    i was rollin on her like bob the builder

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    Replies (3) Good night (2286) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
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    (410): View more from Maryland

    You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.

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    Replies (17) Good night (3090) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt
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    (763): View more from Minnesota

    So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time

    (1-763): View more from Minnesota

    Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.

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    Replies (29) Good night (1065) Bad night (2628)
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    (301): View more from Maryland

    you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.

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    Replies (19) Good night (6992) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
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    (713): View more from Texas

    wait, did i just see you litter out your window??

    (281): View more from Texas

    umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.

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    Replies (35) Good night (3924) Bad night (864)
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    (253): View more from Washington

    I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.

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    Replies (9) Good night (522) Bad night (2633) Order T-Shirt
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    (913): View more from Kansas

    is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?

    (312): View more from Illinois

    you sound like my dream girl

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    Replies (44) Good night (4387) Bad night (454)
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    (780): View more from Alberta, CA

    Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.

    (1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

    Girl's gotta have her standards.

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    Replies (7) Good night (1062) Bad night (1831) Order T-Shirt
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
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  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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