Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
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Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
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I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.