Texts From Last Night

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(740): View more from Ohio

I think I took your hangover as a birthday present

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(740): I think I took your hangover as a birthday present http://tfl.nu/q2lj

Replies (5) Good night (1882) Bad night (573) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed

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(314): Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed http://tfl.nu/ltzi

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(905): View more from Toronto

Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich

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(905): Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich http://tfl.nu/gjvv

Replies (107) Good night (813) Bad night (14682) Order T-Shirt
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(661): View more from California

Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.

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(661): Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better. http://tfl.nu/n2tz

Replies (6) Good night (2275) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt
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(440): View more from Ohio

just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.

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(440): just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy. http://tfl.nu/sv1q

Replies (15) Good night (845) Bad night (2207)
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(770): View more from Georgia

If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.

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(770): If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day. http://tfl.nu/zol0

Replies (37) Good night (3903) Bad night (508) Order T-Shirt
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(801): View more from Utah

We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."

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(801): We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move." http://tfl.nu/deqa

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...

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(405): I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ... http://tfl.nu/68st

Replies (16) Good night (3112) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs

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(314): I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs http://tfl.nu/syr9

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(646): View more from New York

so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"

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(646): so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper" http://tfl.nu/y6hx

Replies (9) Good night (615) Bad night (2291) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from England

why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??

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(+44): why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star?? http://tfl.nu/ikzh

Replies (13) Good night (909) Bad night (3043) Order T-Shirt
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(815): View more from Illinois

My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.

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(815): My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY. http://tfl.nu/imc8

Replies (14) Good night (624) Bad night (3018) Order T-Shirt
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(925): View more from California

You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.

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(925): You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar. http://tfl.nu/e1r5

Replies (7) Good night (470) Bad night (2010) Order T-Shirt
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to

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(267): If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to http://tfl.nu/tvy7

Replies (59) Good night (4777) Bad night (1091)
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(+44): View more from England

Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.

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(+44): Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms. http://tfl.nu/jipl

Replies (12) Good night (625) Bad night (4883)

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