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    (780): View more from Alberta, CA

    So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose

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    Replies (30) Good night (1093) Bad night (3645) Order T-Shirt
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    (708): View more from Illinois

    He uses pillows to masturbate.

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    Replies (39) Good night (650) Bad night (3084) Order T-Shirt
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    (205): View more from Alabama

    why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?

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    Replies (29) Good night (649) Bad night (3969) Order T-Shirt
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    (517): View more from Michigan

    when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.

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    Replies (6) Good night (419) Bad night (3110) Order T-Shirt
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    (816): View more from Missouri

    He is an equal opportunity slut.

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    Replies (10) Good night (2374) Bad night (604) Order T-Shirt
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    (973): View more from New Jersey

    too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.

    (507): View more from Minnesota

    she is a standing ovation.

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    Replies (14) Good night (629) Bad night (3000)
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    (815): View more from Illinois

    Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco

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    Replies (61) Good night (3126) Bad night (1368) Order T-Shirt
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    (419): View more from Ohio

    it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.

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    Replies (40) Good night (3107) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
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    (847): View more from Illinois

    as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window

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    Replies (17) Good night (453) Bad night (2413) Order T-Shirt
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    (609): View more from New Jersey

    I haven't been this sober since birth.

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    Replies (15) Good night (1143) Bad night (2621) Order T-Shirt
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    (925): View more from California

    upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday

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    Replies (42) Good night (3000) Bad night (557) Order T-Shirt
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    (770): View more from Georgia

    Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.

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    Replies (23) Good night (429) Bad night (4215) Order T-Shirt
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    (970): View more from Colorado

    The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.

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    Replies (23) Good night (503) Bad night (3213) Order T-Shirt
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    (201): View more from New Jersey

    Capitaan dildo arrescate!

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    Replies (40) Good night (2118) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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    (202): View more from Washington, DC

    like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?

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    Replies (36) Good night (410) Bad night (2944) Order T-Shirt
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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