Texts From Last Night

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(949): View more from California

Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.

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(949): Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever. http://tfl.nu/rea8

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(616): View more from Michigan

this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan

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(616): this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan http://tfl.nu/llmd

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.

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(303): I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment. http://tfl.nu/lu2o

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly

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(860): I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly http://tfl.nu/inbj

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(415): View more from California

how hairy? two words: wookie tits

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(415): how hairy? two words: wookie tits http://tfl.nu/0tmt

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(614): View more from Ohio

you really are a gigantic fucking slut.

(614): View more from Ohio

sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text

(1-614): View more from Ohio

it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?

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(614): you really are a gigantic fucking slut. (614): sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text (1-614): it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh? http://tfl.nu/0prb

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.

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(612): I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children. http://tfl.nu/5wvk

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.

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(402): Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this. http://tfl.nu/da6y

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(619): View more from California

He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.

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(619): He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting. http://tfl.nu/l79o

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(845): View more from New York

My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet

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(845): My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet http://tfl.nu/jo6v

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........

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(918): If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........ http://tfl.nu/fan3

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(251): View more from Alabama

Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?

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(251): Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone? http://tfl.nu/sjee

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(415): View more from California

She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.

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(415): She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver. http://tfl.nu/1xbw

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(515): View more from Iowa

I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards

(1-515): View more from Iowa

None

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(515): I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards (1-515): None http://tfl.nu/5j7f

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.

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(410): I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/d8vw

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