I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right