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kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
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