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    (909): View more from California

    i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.

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    Replies (17) Good night (2547) Bad night (4243) Order T-Shirt
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    (912): View more from Georgia

    i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day

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    Replies (29) Good night (5606) Bad night (955) Order T-Shirt
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    (805): View more from California

    just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.

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    Replies (7) Good night (6242) Bad night (1037) Order T-Shirt
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    (248): View more from Michigan

    going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.

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    Replies (30) Good night (6238) Bad night (949) Order T-Shirt
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    (310): View more from California

    The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.

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    Replies (23) Good night (1150) Bad night (4644)
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    (251): View more from Alabama

    There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.

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    Replies (17) Good night (5555) Bad night (1411) Order T-Shirt
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    (847): View more from Illinois

    I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days

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    Replies (52) Good night (896) Bad night (3617)
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    (201): View more from New Jersey

    i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind

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    Replies (7) Good night (3158) Bad night (1405) Order T-Shirt
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    (937): View more from Ohio

    We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve

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    Replies (21) Good night (856) Bad night (3754) Order T-Shirt
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    (724): View more from Pennsylvania

    I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.

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    Replies (35) Good night (781) Bad night (7966) Order T-Shirt
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    (912): View more from Georgia

    Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.

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    Replies (42) Good night (621) Bad night (5384) Order T-Shirt
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    (803): View more from South Carolina

    Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.

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    Replies (12) Good night (4345) Bad night (889) Order T-Shirt
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    (519): View more from Ontario

    I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.

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    Replies (14) Good night (4195) Bad night (1315) Order T-Shirt
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    (720): View more from Colorado

    its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it

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    Replies (15) Good night (1044) Bad night (4617) Order T-Shirt
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    (612): View more from Minnesota

    Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.

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    Replies (27) Good night (1062) Bad night (3903) Order T-Shirt
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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