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I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
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