Texts From Last Night

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(912): View more from Georgia

I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers

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(912): I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers http://tfl.nu/7qil

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(301): View more from Maryland

My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.

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(301): My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake. http://tfl.nu/il6h

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(650): View more from California

im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.

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(650): im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for. http://tfl.nu/gyhj

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(856): View more from New Jersey

You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.

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(856): You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am. http://tfl.nu/u2qi

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?

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(414): is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons? http://tfl.nu/ve8k

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(973): View more from New Jersey

if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!

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(973): if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out! http://tfl.nu/a5qm

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(407): View more from Florida

No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal

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(407): No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal http://tfl.nu/6ttq

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(716): View more from New York

Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."

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(716): Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per." http://tfl.nu/jili

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(404): View more from Georgia

yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"

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(404): yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you" http://tfl.nu/otku

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(419): View more from Ohio

It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.

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(419): It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo. http://tfl.nu/e5lr

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(239): View more from Florida

So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.

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(239): So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life. http://tfl.nu/5out

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(312): View more from Illinois

so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?

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(312): so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion? http://tfl.nu/og9d

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(609): View more from New Jersey

That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets

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(609): That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets http://tfl.nu/cuwg

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(314): View more from Missouri

i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.

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(314): i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out. http://tfl.nu/zite

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(646): View more from New York

miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.

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(646): miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god. http://tfl.nu/4rhl

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