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    (912): View more from Georgia

    I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers

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    Replies (16) Good night (4514) Bad night (631) Order T-Shirt
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    (301): View more from Maryland

    My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.

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    Replies (12) Good night (1138) Bad night (3453) Order T-Shirt
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    (650): View more from California

    im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.

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    Replies (13) Good night (4217) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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    (856): View more from New Jersey

    You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.

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    Replies (14) Good night (1289) Bad night (5755)
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    (414): View more from Wisconsin

    is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?

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    Replies (24) Good night (879) Bad night (4417) Order T-Shirt
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    (973): View more from New Jersey

    if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!

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    Replies (23) Good night (548) Bad night (4511) Order T-Shirt
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    (407): View more from Florida

    No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal

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    Replies (10) Good night (3507) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
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    (716): View more from New York

    Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."

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    Replies (6) Good night (3919) Bad night (571) Order T-Shirt
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    (404): View more from Georgia

    yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"

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    Replies (11) Good night (3381) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
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    (419): View more from Ohio

    It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.

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    Replies (4) Good night (511) Bad night (3656) Order T-Shirt
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    (239): View more from Florida

    So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.

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    Replies (14) Good night (5002) Bad night (689) Order T-Shirt
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    (312): View more from Illinois

    so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?

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    Replies (97) Good night (907) Bad night (7988) Order T-Shirt
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    (609): View more from New Jersey

    That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets

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    Replies (18) Good night (2365) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
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    (314): View more from Missouri

    i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.

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    Replies (19) Good night (4540) Bad night (1088) Order T-Shirt
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    (646): View more from New York

    miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.

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    Replies (374) Good night (3204) Bad night (8583) Order T-Shirt
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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