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Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
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