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In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
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