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We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
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