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    (203): View more from Connecticut

    We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.

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    Replies (39) Good night (9114) Bad night (845) Order T-Shirt
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    (320): View more from Minnesota

    so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..

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    Replies (38) Good night (1727) Bad night (5213) Order T-Shirt
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    (636): View more from Missouri

    we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"

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    Replies (17) Good night (7003) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
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    (254): View more from Texas

    You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"

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    Replies (22) Good night (6035) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
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    (210): View more from Texas

    By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE

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    Replies (32) Good night (8998) Bad night (843) Order T-Shirt
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    (757): View more from Virginia

    adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.

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    Replies (32) Good night (5572) Bad night (1078) Order T-Shirt
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    (707): View more from California

    that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it

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    Replies (18) Good night (4650) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
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    (716): View more from New York

    angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up

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    Replies (26) Good night (4365) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
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    (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

    You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.

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    Replies (12) Good night (829) Bad night (5511)
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    (508): View more from Massachusetts

    Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower

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    Replies (21) Good night (9288) Bad night (508) Order T-Shirt
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    (850): View more from Florida

    She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.

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    Replies (90) Good night (850) Bad night (5719) Order T-Shirt
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    (614): View more from Ohio

    I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now

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    Replies (9) Good night (3345) Bad night (670) Order T-Shirt
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    (978): View more from Massachusetts

    you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with

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    Replies (41) Good night (952) Bad night (5173) Order T-Shirt
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    (860): View more from Connecticut

    Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.

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    Replies (30) Good night (1271) Bad night (10086) Order T-Shirt
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    (609): View more from New Jersey

    he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.

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    Replies (17) Good night (619) Bad night (6591) Order T-Shirt
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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