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    (252): View more from North Carolina

    I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.

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    Replies (94) Good night (18105) Bad night (2656) Order T-Shirt
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    (414): View more from Wisconsin

    I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!

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    Replies (22) Good night (5957) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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    (703): View more from Virginia

    i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is

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    Replies (55) Good night (4631) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
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    (651): View more from Minnesota

    make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.

    (1-651): View more from Minnesota

    I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.

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    Replies (40) Good night (3738) Bad night (4898) Order T-Shirt
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    (256): View more from Alabama

    we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.

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    Replies (34) Good night (10535) Bad night (1302) Order T-Shirt
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    (914): View more from New York

    is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?

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    Replies (44) Good night (1438) Bad night (5505) Order T-Shirt
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    (330): View more from Ohio

    mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM

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    Replies (27) Good night (8467) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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    (615): View more from Tennessee

    my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.

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    Replies (27) Good night (4187) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
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    (912): View more from Georgia

    you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.

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    Replies (9) Good night (4378) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt
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    (239): View more from Florida

    And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".

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    Replies (9) Good night (4406) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
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    (850): View more from Florida

    best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!

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    Replies (7) Good night (4455) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
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    (845): View more from New York

    Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul

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    Replies (4) Good night (592) Bad night (3249) Order T-Shirt
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    (516): View more from New York

    i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times

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    Replies (30) Good night (501) Bad night (2901) Order T-Shirt
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    (818): View more from California

    I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.

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    Replies (15) Good night (4027) Bad night (668) Order T-Shirt
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    (603): View more from New Hampshire

    I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now

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    Replies (21) Good night (4887) Bad night (502) Order T-Shirt
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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