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    (216): View more from Ohio

    ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.

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    Replies (59) Good night (10953) Bad night (1051) Order T-Shirt
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    (516): View more from New York

    Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee

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    Replies (16) Good night (3099) Bad night (494) Order T-Shirt
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    (978): View more from Massachusetts

    we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me

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    Replies (12) Good night (3101) Bad night (471) Order T-Shirt
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    (631): View more from New York

    Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!

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    Replies (30) Good night (639) Bad night (3591) Order T-Shirt
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    (077): View more from

    it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner

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    Replies (28) Good night (507) Bad night (4077) Order T-Shirt
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    (631): View more from New York

    we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"

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    Replies (15) Good night (3278) Bad night (805)
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    (636): View more from Missouri

    I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.

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    Replies (56) Good night (1004) Bad night (3152) Order T-Shirt
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    (248): View more from Michigan

    SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!

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    Replies (66) Good night (1072) Bad night (16855) Order T-Shirt
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    (847): View more from Illinois

    Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.

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    Replies (41) Good night (4440) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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    (201): View more from New Jersey

    i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night

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    Replies (73) Good night (1147) Bad night (12714) Order T-Shirt
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    (303): View more from Colorado

    Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.

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    Replies (41) Good night (726) Bad night (4385) Order T-Shirt
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    (925): View more from California

    I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me

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    Replies (26) Good night (5992) Bad night (649) Order T-Shirt
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    (412): View more from Pennsylvania

    Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"

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    Replies (34) Good night (3498) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
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    (925): View more from California

    I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.

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    Replies (31) Good night (4462) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
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    (607): View more from New York

    i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.

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    Replies (18) Good night (4590) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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