Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Follow @tfln