Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Month

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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.

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  (+44): By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder. http://tfl.nu/khml
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  (227): View more from Maryland

  Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake

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  (227): Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake http://tfl.nu/ij8f
  Replies (7) Good night (225) Bad night (574) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....

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  (618): My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why.... http://tfl.nu/ypyl
  Replies (4) Good night (196) Bad night (574) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...

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  (480): Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch... http://tfl.nu/farg
  Replies (4) Good night (198) Bad night (571) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay

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  (302): I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay http://tfl.nu/8522
  Replies (5) Good night (224) Bad night (571) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me

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  (306): I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me http://tfl.nu/ybnl
  Replies (3) Good night (133) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world

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  (416): Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world http://tfl.nu/enih
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.

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  (303): It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address. http://tfl.nu/4jnm
  Replies (6) Good night (241) Bad night (557) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?

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  (712): There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life? http://tfl.nu/al5z
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.

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  (586): Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at. http://tfl.nu/sdak
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.

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  (908): I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there. http://tfl.nu/gv3y
  Replies (1) Good night (295) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.

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  (734): Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink. http://tfl.nu/pqtj
  Replies (1) Good night (156) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next

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  (202): Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next http://tfl.nu/dw8t
  Replies (4) Good night (336) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?

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  (706): Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/bcib
  Replies (2) Good night (145) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"

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  (775): This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat" http://tfl.nu/i7x4
  Replies (5) Good night (536) Bad night (528)