Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Month

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..

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  (215): i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out (1-215): you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night.. http://tfl.nu/3w68
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.

  (1-859): View more from Kentucky

  I didn't get it..

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm sorry. But to the original question please.

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  (859): So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong. (1-859): I didn't get it.. (859): I'm sorry. But to the original question please. http://tfl.nu/67d3
  Replies (3) Good night (324) Bad night (627)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.

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  (250): Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket. http://tfl.nu/g0f2
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.

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  (817): I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult. http://tfl.nu/nj2j
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.

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  (715): Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk. http://tfl.nu/dnee
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy

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  (732): Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy http://tfl.nu/ir99
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.

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  (610): The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable. http://tfl.nu/zn9i
  Replies (1) Good night (154) Bad night (611) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.

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  (856): I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree. http://tfl.nu/ftwn
  Replies (4) Good night (276) Bad night (596) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night

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  (306): I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night http://tfl.nu/ov8q
  Replies (1) Good night (150) Bad night (596) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.

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  (316): Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift. http://tfl.nu/rzzb
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary

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  (214): I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary http://tfl.nu/wcin
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  My vag is like the Sahara

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ew that's gross.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  The sad truth. Barren and empty.

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  (267): My vag is like the Sahara (215): Ew that's gross. (267): The sad truth. Barren and empty. http://tfl.nu/3klg
  Replies (8) Good night (162) Bad night (582)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.

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  (307): I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck. http://tfl.nu/p4ld
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  (818): View more from California

  The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.

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  (818): The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink. http://tfl.nu/7x1a
  Replies (2) Good night (207) Bad night (569)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...

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  (480): Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch... http://tfl.nu/farg
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