Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of All Time

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.

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  (614): I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on. http://tfl.nu/pnve
  Replies (11) Good night (455) Bad night (1898) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.

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  (540): I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night. http://tfl.nu/isgy
  Replies (1) Good night (455) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet

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  (918): eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet http://tfl.nu/8959
  Replies (7) Good night (455) Bad night (3934) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.

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  (858): Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home. http://tfl.nu/rouf
  Replies (1) Good night (455) Bad night (837) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.

  (1-606): View more from Kentucky

  At least that would be something.

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  (606): I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting. (1-606): At least that would be something. http://tfl.nu/23qn
  Replies (4) Good night (455) Bad night (141) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that

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  (805): If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that http://tfl.nu/xc7d
  Replies (7) Good night (455) Bad night (1132)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.

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  (870): So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub. http://tfl.nu/l7si
  Replies (2) Good night (455) Bad night (453) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka

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  (817): Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka http://tfl.nu/xkay
  Replies (9) Good night (454) Bad night (1103) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.

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  (561): Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets. http://tfl.nu/6ng8
  Replies (3) Good night (454) Bad night (886) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.

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  (913): Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth. http://tfl.nu/51lq
  Replies (3) Good night (454) Bad night (275) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.

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  (845): I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway. http://tfl.nu/8j56
  Replies (11) Good night (454) Bad night (1019) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  My cock was attacked by outdoor plants

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  (631): My cock was attacked by outdoor plants http://tfl.nu/04m9
  Replies (4) Good night (454) Bad night (1101) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.

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  (210): i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home. http://tfl.nu/eggw
  Replies (3) Good night (454) Bad night (2805)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents

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  (307): Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents http://tfl.nu/rmp2
  Replies (4) Good night (454) Bad night (382) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.

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  (+44): I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no. http://tfl.nu/bvly
  Replies (2) Good night (454) Bad night (201) Order T-Shirt