Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of All Time

• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you http://tfl.nu/h4jv
  Replies (1) Good night (478) Bad night (160) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase. http://tfl.nu/7f2q
  Replies (32) Good night (478) Bad night (2437)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate. http://tfl.nu/ga8b
  Replies (8) Good night (478) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night. http://tfl.nu/84z8
  Replies (1) Good night (477) Bad night (238) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE http://tfl.nu/e7i8
  Replies (6) Good night (477) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work? http://tfl.nu/5kkn
  Replies (13) Good night (477) Bad night (1168) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents.. http://tfl.nu/shss
  Replies (17) Good night (477) Bad night (3799)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed. http://tfl.nu/r67y
  Replies (17) Good night (477) Bad night (1253) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair.. http://tfl.nu/10ie
  Replies (6) Good night (477) Bad night (230) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face. http://tfl.nu/ufsv
  Replies (10) Good night (477) Bad night (1495) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later. http://tfl.nu/hn0j
  Replies (0) Good night (477) Bad night (132) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...

  (661): View more from California

  Sorry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges... (661): Sorry. http://tfl.nu/vg1q
  Replies (13) Good night (477) Bad night (1382)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face. http://tfl.nu/i080
  Replies (8) Good night (477) Bad night (1148) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night http://tfl.nu/871q
  Replies (3) Good night (477) Bad night (156) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust. http://tfl.nu/fcbh
  Replies (21) Good night (477) Bad night (5675) Order T-Shirt