Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of All Time

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion

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  (615): That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion http://tfl.nu/imr6
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess

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  (757): think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess http://tfl.nu/lfhg
  Replies (5) Good night (571) Bad night (264) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom

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  (610): Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom http://tfl.nu/xyyz
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means

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  (610): Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means http://tfl.nu/2dw5
  Replies (4) Good night (707) Bad night (264) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.

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  (251): We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies. http://tfl.nu/6jxt
  Replies (5) Good night (1088) Bad night (264) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me

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  (614): you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me http://tfl.nu/5ifz
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.

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  (785): Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ. http://tfl.nu/krx2
  Replies (2) Good night (1112) Bad night (264) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Amanda bynes is my spirit animal

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  (949): Amanda bynes is my spirit animal http://tfl.nu/eohy
  Replies (2) Good night (467) Bad night (264) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.

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  (847): So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day. http://tfl.nu/zt4q
  Replies (1) Good night (565) Bad night (264) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card

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  (631): Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card http://tfl.nu/dp25
  Replies (14) Good night (608) Bad night (263) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.

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  (918): Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time. http://tfl.nu/hv9q
  Replies (1) Good night (520) Bad night (263) Order T-Shirt
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners

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  (551): Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners http://tfl.nu/77j3
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Sounds like sex on a twister board.

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...

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  (541): Sounds like sex on a twister board. (1-541): An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing... http://tfl.nu/ydi6
  Replies (2) Good night (979) Bad night (263) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!

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  (949): YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER! http://tfl.nu/b6lu
  Replies (3) Good night (383) Bad night (263) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there

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  (402): You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there http://tfl.nu/v9qy
  Replies (2) Good night (1389) Bad night (263) Order T-Shirt