Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of All Time

• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night. http://tfl.nu/84z8
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (248) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient. http://tfl.nu/pars
  Replies (10) Good night (505) Bad night (2131) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good? http://tfl.nu/0pjz
  Replies (3) Good night (505) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest. http://tfl.nu/0b74
  Replies (6) Good night (505) Bad night (1092) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite http://tfl.nu/ql58
  Replies (5) Good night (505) Bad night (310) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents? http://tfl.nu/2gwr
  Replies (13) Good night (505) Bad night (1494) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now. http://tfl.nu/gjj1
  Replies (4) Good night (505) Bad night (2675) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?" http://tfl.nu/sbqo
  Replies (9) Good night (505) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/kmrp
  Replies (20) Good night (505) Bad night (2857) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo http://tfl.nu/iz8u
  Replies (7) Good night (505) Bad night (3227) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Thats alot of pressure.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Thats alot of pressure. (1-813): Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house. http://tfl.nu/tdoy
  Replies (2) Good night (505) Bad night (161) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic. http://tfl.nu/2s9s
  Replies (4) Good night (505) Bad night (229) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being http://tfl.nu/rzj7
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (397) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt. http://tfl.nu/9ocn
  Replies (24) Good night (505) Bad night (5068)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream. http://tfl.nu/kzw3
  Replies (16) Good night (505) Bad night (1893) Order T-Shirt