Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of All Time

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.

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  (215): If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will. http://tfl.nu/oylu
  Replies (9) Good night (1046) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.

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  (207): I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager. http://tfl.nu/qawn
  Replies (3) Good night (827) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun

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  (630): All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun http://tfl.nu/y2l0
  Replies (6) Good night (1895) Bad night (334)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.

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  (940): BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic. http://tfl.nu/0fj8
  Replies (4) Good night (594) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm hungry

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex

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  (215): I'm hungry (1-215): Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex http://tfl.nu/pt2l
  Replies (4) Good night (1859) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.

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  (708): First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night. http://tfl.nu/xjsn
  Replies (3) Good night (942) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  NoShamevember. You game?

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  (615): NoShamevember. You game? http://tfl.nu/f24z
  Replies (2) Good night (916) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed

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  (570): FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed http://tfl.nu/e8xr
  Replies (1) Good night (929) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today

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  (310): Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today http://tfl.nu/yb5r
  Replies (5) Good night (862) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."

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  (541): So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here." http://tfl.nu/zbul
  Replies (5) Good night (1775) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.

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  (330): Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out. http://tfl.nu/uvib
  Replies (7) Good night (841) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street

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  (954): You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street http://tfl.nu/crjb
  Replies (2) Good night (998) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.

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  (850): I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here. http://tfl.nu/dms5
  Replies (6) Good night (791) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.

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  (219): We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual. http://tfl.nu/rrmi
  Replies (4) Good night (1616) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES

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  (604): We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES http://tfl.nu/h0lt
  Replies (1) Good night (1169) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt