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did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
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