Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of All Time

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?

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  (717): did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal? http://tfl.nu/l8vf
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I'll bet she douches with gravy.

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  (937): I'll bet she douches with gravy. http://tfl.nu/j4az
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  It's just like the Real World with babies

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  (330): It's just like the Real World with babies http://tfl.nu/2wbr
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  (650): View more from California

  Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___

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  (650): Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___ http://tfl.nu/djlq
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.

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  (250): Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November. http://tfl.nu/s7yk
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college

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  (508): I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college http://tfl.nu/po1d
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"

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  (778): we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon" http://tfl.nu/dp34
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.

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  (773): yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL. http://tfl.nu/d3ky
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr

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  (330): do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr http://tfl.nu/tk9o
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  (845): View more from New York

  oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.

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  (845): oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call. http://tfl.nu/l86s
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.

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  (307): he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with. http://tfl.nu/pnh0
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.

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  (309): His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/bv47
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  (310): View more from California

  Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul

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  (310): Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul http://tfl.nu/k128
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Have a good day. My vagina shrank.

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  (734): Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember. (734): Have a good day. My vagina shrank. http://tfl.nu/3o44
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.

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  (+44): It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over. http://tfl.nu/6ffz
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