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he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
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