Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Month

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  (716): View more from New York

  It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!

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  (716): It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT! http://tfl.nu/5pm7
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.

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  (256): Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101. http://tfl.nu/zhx3
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.

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  (901): I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy. http://tfl.nu/38oe
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight

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  (780): My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight http://tfl.nu/tvtb
  Replies (2) Good night (271) Bad night (718) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?

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  (707): My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day? http://tfl.nu/zsu8
  Replies (7) Good night (250) Bad night (717)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?

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  (605): Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night? http://tfl.nu/gtih
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  15 is 15

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  (614): He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community. (1-614): 15 is 15 http://tfl.nu/ct2y
  Replies (6) Good night (285) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.

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  (613): somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder. http://tfl.nu/ofdw
  Replies (2) Good night (181) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.

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  (610): The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable. http://tfl.nu/zn9i
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.

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  (847): Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party. http://tfl.nu/n2f5
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time

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  (434): I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time http://tfl.nu/ligv
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....

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  (720): He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ.... http://tfl.nu/i5f3
  Replies (2) Good night (378) Bad night (649)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.

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  (305): I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me. http://tfl.nu/8pa6
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.

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  (304): You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob. http://tfl.nu/lajt
  Replies (17) Good night (328) Bad night (645) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy

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  (732): Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy http://tfl.nu/ir99
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