Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of All Time

• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test http://tfl.nu/0qhc
  Replies (77) Good night (51889) Bad night (2021) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down http://tfl.nu/yeuq
  Replies (206) Good night (51678) Bad night (2730) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life" http://tfl.nu/u5wp
  Replies (175) Good night (51677) Bad night (5687)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE http://tfl.nu/5phb
  Replies (184) Good night (51554) Bad night (2260)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart http://tfl.nu/al7w
  Replies (182) Good night (51510) Bad night (1867)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration". http://tfl.nu/m5rh
  Replies (87) Good night (51272) Bad night (3138) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable. http://tfl.nu/zho9
  Replies (214) Good night (51225) Bad night (2583) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking. http://tfl.nu/ilmx
  Replies (110) Good night (50593) Bad night (1662) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands http://tfl.nu/c6ww
  Replies (83) Good night (49034) Bad night (2040) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): The ticket read "Found nude in a tree" http://tfl.nu/6rf6
  Replies (47) Good night (47523) Bad night (2089) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud. http://tfl.nu/xhdj
  Replies (50) Good night (47514) Bad night (1242)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful? http://tfl.nu/75hl
  Replies (123) Good night (46584) Bad night (1692)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  Guess she heard her killer coming

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear. (1-973): Guess she heard her killer coming http://tfl.nu/u45m
  Replies (116) Good night (46408) Bad night (2024) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made. http://tfl.nu/87yq
  Replies (110) Good night (45971) Bad night (2479) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  the red head has a bf

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): the red head has a bf (1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score http://tfl.nu/bdta
  Replies (118) Good night (44948) Bad night (3380) Order T-Shirt