Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of All Time

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  (214): View more from Texas

  Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.

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  (214): Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas. http://tfl.nu/qczi
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"

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  (440): I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found" http://tfl.nu/rmaa
  Replies (3) Good night (1518) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you

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  (219): You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you http://tfl.nu/zonx
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  Is this the acid talking?

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  (256): Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive. (1-256): Is this the acid talking? http://tfl.nu/txi2
  Replies (3) Good night (809) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Boobs speak an international language.

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  (505): Boobs speak an international language. http://tfl.nu/m73t
  Replies (7) Good night (1266) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die

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  (608): Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die http://tfl.nu/nuo3
  Replies (8) Good night (1493) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any

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  (606): Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any http://tfl.nu/tvgl
  Replies (3) Good night (812) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?

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  (814): Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass? http://tfl.nu/jyz9
  Replies (8) Good night (1300) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.

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  (410): It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions. http://tfl.nu/65l6
  Replies (1) Good night (1073) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?

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  (541): Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am? http://tfl.nu/ak1s
  Replies (10) Good night (1467) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.

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  (727): She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it. http://tfl.nu/8d3q
  Replies (6) Good night (1098) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask

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  (845): i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask http://tfl.nu/5xm3
  Replies (1) Good night (732) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here

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  (719): we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here http://tfl.nu/nyi7
  Replies (8) Good night (976) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.

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  (740): I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state. http://tfl.nu/rhx6
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  (845): View more from New York

  Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.

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  (845): Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored. http://tfl.nu/hxpc
  Replies (2) Good night (1214) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt