Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Follow @tfln