Texts From Last Night · Best Nights of All Time

Best Nights of All Time

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(407): View more from Florida

I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold

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(407): I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold http://tfl.nu/xl1f

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke

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(608): you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke http://tfl.nu/n0vk

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(406): View more from Montana

Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.

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(406): Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip. http://tfl.nu/5qjy

Replies (6) Good night (818) Bad night (327) Order T-Shirt
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(443): View more from Maryland

Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.

(410): View more from Maryland

The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.

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(443): Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good. (410): The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky. http://tfl.nu/y3f5

Replies (10) Good night (818) Bad night (1890)
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(914): View more from New York

And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.

(845): View more from New York

I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?

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(914): And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken. (845): I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa? http://tfl.nu/09c4

Replies (3) Good night (818) Bad night (225)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus

(908): View more from New Jersey

Yeah but the people love.

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(781): Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus (908): Yeah but the people love. http://tfl.nu/k9ua

Replies (2) Good night (818) Bad night (215)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie

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(440): Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie http://tfl.nu/g1ng

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(248): View more from Michigan

You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee

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(248): You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee http://tfl.nu/or77

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(256): View more from Alabama

IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.

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(256): IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS. http://tfl.nu/wp8w

Replies (0) Good night (818) Bad night (418) Order T-Shirt
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(307): View more from Wyoming

A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror

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(307): A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror http://tfl.nu/ozj2

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(205): View more from Alabama

I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will

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(205): I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will http://tfl.nu/rm9j

Replies (2) Good night (818) Bad night (282) Order T-Shirt
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(501): View more from Arkansas

I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.

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(501): I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual. http://tfl.nu/m5w4

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.

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(612): I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around. http://tfl.nu/8ahv

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.

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(832): We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life. http://tfl.nu/iqsk

Replies (5) Good night (817) Bad night (1543)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke

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(248): Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke http://tfl.nu/ag71

Replies (25) Good night (817) Bad night (7364) Order T-Shirt

Best Nights of All Time

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