Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Week

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny

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  (678): The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny http://tfl.nu/ejq7
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.

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  (630): like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant. http://tfl.nu/ihww
  Replies (7) Good night (145) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.

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  (307): I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open. http://tfl.nu/7eks
  Replies (2) Good night (128) Bad night (466) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.

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  (412): I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help. http://tfl.nu/c3ar
  Replies (5) Good night (182) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.

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  (314): My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis. http://tfl.nu/6np1
  Replies (5) Good night (140) Bad night (446) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week

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  (267): I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week http://tfl.nu/wcg4
  Replies (1) Good night (124) Bad night (438) Order T-Shirt
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  (956): View more from Texas

  I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.

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  (956): I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you. http://tfl.nu/vvm8
  Replies (7) Good night (137) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.

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  (479): I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home. http://tfl.nu/t2fg
  Replies (6) Good night (134) Bad night (425)
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  (415): View more from California

  LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.

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  (415): LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking. http://tfl.nu/5t1f
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?

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  (641): He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy? http://tfl.nu/tf1s
  Replies (2) Good night (295) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him

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  (734): Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him http://tfl.nu/qq0a
  Replies (0) Good night (234) Bad night (397) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.

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  (240): God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone. http://tfl.nu/9qu8
  Replies (3) Good night (90) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.

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  (502): If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it. http://tfl.nu/bxd5
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Pencil dick carries the name proudly.

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  (612): Pencil dick carries the name proudly. http://tfl.nu/iir6
  Replies (4) Good night (90) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.

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  (417): He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex. http://tfl.nu/n0fj
  Replies (1) Good night (76) Bad night (360) Order T-Shirt