Texts From Last Night · Worst Nights of Today

Worst Nights of Today

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(513): View more from Ohio

I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment

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(513): I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment http://tfl.nu/26yo

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(954): View more from Florida

When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.

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(954): When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex. http://tfl.nu/36q6

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.

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(859): Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy. http://tfl.nu/uf16

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really

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(+44): although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really http://tfl.nu/kxvm

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(503): View more from Oregon

Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing

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(503): Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing http://tfl.nu/v3ef

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(954): View more from Florida

He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"

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(954): He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good" http://tfl.nu/rht4

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.

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(318): Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home. http://tfl.nu/6de1

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(703): View more from Virginia

YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...

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(703): YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!! (202): Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me... http://tfl.nu/al91

Replies (6) Good night (233) Bad night (35)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"

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(918): The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo" http://tfl.nu/4ubw

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(305): View more from Florida

My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".

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(305): My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment". http://tfl.nu/9ut4

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(707): View more from California

According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.

(253): View more from Washington

You called the wrong number but I salute you.

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(707): According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground. (253): You called the wrong number but I salute you. http://tfl.nu/npd5

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(513): View more from Ohio

I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that

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(513): I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that http://tfl.nu/zzq0

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.

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(615): I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn. http://tfl.nu/8jte

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(619): View more from California

You in for a dick vacation?

(1-619): View more from California

YES, even though I have no idea what that means

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(619): You in for a dick vacation? (1-619): YES, even though I have no idea what that means http://tfl.nu/ak79

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update

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(215): Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update http://tfl.nu/adag

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Worst Nights of Today

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