Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Week

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  (425): View more from Washington

  You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.

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  (425): You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you. http://tfl.nu/vxkn
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.

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  (732): The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack. http://tfl.nu/qgyn
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!

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  (787): Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud! http://tfl.nu/y0cl
  Replies (3) Good night (270) Bad night (34) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"

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  (336): Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem" http://tfl.nu/nmt9
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party

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  (902): Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party http://tfl.nu/fwjk
  Replies (0) Good night (41) Bad night (34) Order T-Shirt
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  (386): View more from Florida

  make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions

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  (386): make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions http://tfl.nu/o45u
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  (561): View more from Florida

  But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain

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  (561): But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain http://tfl.nu/nmgo
  Replies (0) Good night (103) Bad night (31) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.

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  (856): Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina. http://tfl.nu/1cex
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night

  (434): View more from Virginia

  then apparently I went "not bad" and continued

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  (434): I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night (434): then apparently I went "not bad" and continued http://tfl.nu/4s21
  Replies (0) Good night (36) Bad night (30)
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  (619): View more from California

  Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.

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  (619): Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket. http://tfl.nu/fgzh
  Replies (1) Good night (65) Bad night (26)
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  (530): View more from California

  im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.

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  (530): im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either. http://tfl.nu/lxlu
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.

  (509): View more from Washington

  you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left

  (971): View more from Oregon

  goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan

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  (971): I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH. (509): you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left (971): goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan http://tfl.nu/bxrp
  Replies (1) Good night (209) Bad night (22)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to

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  (313): We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to http://tfl.nu/22xn
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.

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  (785): There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha. http://tfl.nu/kiqc
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!

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  (+44): We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA! http://tfl.nu/862o
  Replies (2) Good night (51) Bad night (18) Order T-Shirt