Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Week

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  (+92): View more from

  Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?

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  (+92): Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from? http://tfl.nu/pk33
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  (646): View more from New York

  We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.

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  (646): We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman. http://tfl.nu/a2vv
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  (619): View more from California

  She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.

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  (619): She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it. http://tfl.nu/d8em
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  (315): View more from New York

  So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"

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  (315): So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair" http://tfl.nu/gzbj
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  (681): View more from West Virginia

  I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion

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  It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you

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  (681): I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion (743): It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you http://tfl.nu/rspk
  Replies (1) Good night (173) Bad night (32)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women

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  (808): there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women http://tfl.nu/4eji
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  Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.

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  (596): Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop. http://tfl.nu/tzap
  Replies (1) Good night (91) Bad night (29) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.

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  (702): We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly. http://tfl.nu/ykqa
  Replies (0) Good night (82) Bad night (28) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.

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  (330): exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun. http://tfl.nu/7m4g
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I want to go out and have good clean fun.

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.

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  (931): I want to go out and have good clean fun. (931): Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina. http://tfl.nu/qwbd
  Replies (0) Good night (71) Bad night (24)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face

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  (609): jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face http://tfl.nu/r9ws
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!

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  (319): No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy! http://tfl.nu/f6zv
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..

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  (801): I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore.. http://tfl.nu/1hum
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...

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  (719): id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex... http://tfl.nu/l03p
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.

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  (270): Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck. http://tfl.nu/t1ax
  Replies (0) Good night (186) Bad night (10)