Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Month

• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money. http://tfl.nu/sp3n
  Replies (23) Good night (340) Bad night (1795)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!! http://tfl.nu/4ih5
  Replies (8) Good night (357) Bad night (1265) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment. http://tfl.nu/y6m4
  Replies (16) Good night (627) Bad night (1182) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon. http://tfl.nu/r3ld
  Replies (12) Good night (176) Bad night (1142) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed? http://tfl.nu/vp1b
  Replies (4) Good night (114) Bad night (1115) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever. http://tfl.nu/zs85
  Replies (7) Good night (151) Bad night (1038) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+45): View more from Denmark

  Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+45): Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction? http://tfl.nu/7i71
  Replies (18) Good night (705) Bad night (1002) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking. http://tfl.nu/5t1f
  Replies (9) Good night (111) Bad night (950) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned. http://tfl.nu/qyit
  Replies (8) Good night (239) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill http://tfl.nu/0ptc
  Replies (4) Good night (188) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): You know I love you. I just don't love your penis. http://tfl.nu/4w11
  Replies (6) Good night (212) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now

  (561): View more from Florida

  I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now (561): I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE. http://tfl.nu/f0wr
  Replies (5) Good night (262) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night. http://tfl.nu/eco5
  Replies (8) Good night (208) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving http://tfl.nu/6fed
  Replies (5) Good night (185) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision. http://tfl.nu/oggj
  Replies (5) Good night (184) Bad night (861) Order T-Shirt