Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of the Week

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.

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  (410): Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface. http://tfl.nu/w1ur
  Replies (6) Good night (1400) Bad night (229) Order T-Shirt
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  (343): View more from Ontario

  Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?

  (1-343): View more from Ontario

  Lol, last year was UNREAL

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  (343): Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy? (1-343): Lol, last year was UNREAL http://tfl.nu/u4kx
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.

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  (570): I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night. http://tfl.nu/0a56
  Replies (7) Good night (932) Bad night (87)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes

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  (970): Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes http://tfl.nu/j9tk
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.

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  (954): Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat. http://tfl.nu/msv0
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Whore are you.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Yes.

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  (202): Whore are you. (301): Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am? (202): Yes. http://tfl.nu/xx42
  Replies (3) Good night (876) Bad night (72)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class

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  (954): I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class http://tfl.nu/ks3b
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.

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  (306): we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too. http://tfl.nu/4mc0
  Replies (6) Good night (783) Bad night (248) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that

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  (513): I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that http://tfl.nu/zzq0
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  (661): View more from California

  Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.

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  (661): Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic. http://tfl.nu/0y3r
  Replies (5) Good night (727) Bad night (80) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.

  (269): View more from Michigan

  That should be the title of my autobiography.

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  (716): Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass. (269): That should be the title of my autobiography. http://tfl.nu/pdg7
  Replies (3) Good night (720) Bad night (94)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.

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  (316): Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex. http://tfl.nu/moa6
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  (727): View more from Florida

  You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.

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  (727): You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest. http://tfl.nu/2kj8
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  (954): View more from Florida

  When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.

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  (954): When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex. http://tfl.nu/36q6
  Replies (2) Good night (679) Bad night (61) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.

  (253): View more from Washington

  You called the wrong number but I salute you.

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  (707): According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground. (253): You called the wrong number but I salute you. http://tfl.nu/npd5
  Replies (4) Good night (669) Bad night (74)