Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (780)

Last Night in Alberta, CA (780)

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana

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(780): He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana http://tfl.nu/rg2f

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The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.

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(780): The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day. http://tfl.nu/xftd

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girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week

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(780): girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week http://tfl.nu/5wm5

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we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.

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(780): we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said. http://tfl.nu/m7ps

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worst lay ever....

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as long as you cum, there is no bad sex

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement

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(403): worst lay ever.... (780): as long as you cum, there is no bad sex (403): ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement http://tfl.nu/cjn6

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Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.

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(780): Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube. http://tfl.nu/uqzu

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Did we use protection last night?

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Um, no...keep in touch, okay?

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(780): Did we use protection last night? (1-780): Um, no...keep in touch, okay? http://tfl.nu/2myc

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Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.

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(780): Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero. http://tfl.nu/3vt3

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I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."

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(780): I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked." http://tfl.nu/ikiz

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just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...

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(780): just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon... http://tfl.nu/csyn

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His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?

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You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?

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She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.

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(587): His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl? (780): You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus? (587): She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass. http://tfl.nu/i4m5

Replies (68) Good night (2183) Bad night (4381)
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but the lizard people decide everything anyway

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(780): but the lizard people decide everything anyway http://tfl.nu/21qe

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i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.

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(780): i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself. http://tfl.nu/5eaf

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he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.

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(780): he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem. http://tfl.nu/ak11

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school has made you so classy.

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that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.

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(780): school has made you so classy. (514): that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884. http://tfl.nu/r8mz

Replies (45) Good night (4073) Bad night (545)

Last Night in Alberta, CA (780)

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