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He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
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